Mistakenly in Wonderland
by stupid-blackcherry
Summary: Marianne, who dislikes Alice profoundly, meets the White Rabbit. Due to a mixup of names he takes her to Wonderland. But was it really a mistake? Yay! First fic! :
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** I, Black Cherry, do not own Alice in Wonderland. I wouldn't want to anyway. :)_

_This is my first fic! Yay! Feel free to read and review, though I'm not going to plead or beg for you to. Although, if you review mine; I'll review yours. _

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Marianne sniffed disdainfully as she watched the enthralled crowd surrounding Alice. What nonsense, she thought crossly, I can't believe they believe her ridiculous story about rabbits and cards and if it were up to me I would have had her Insaneship thrown into a mental hospital long ago. Marianne turned her back on the scene and stomped off to the other side of the garden. She had not wanted to go to the birthday party thrown for Alice but had had no choice in the matter. Her mother had viciously dragged her along by her long ponytail to the house. All the village children were there, and Alice's siblings, so there were stampeding children everywhere, throwing cake crumbs and rolling in the dirt. Marianne sniffed once more, patted the ruffles from her pink skirt and sat down on a dry patch of grass to nibble on a piece of cake she had rescued from the tea table earlier. It's just nonsense, she thought again, and I hate her. I hate her dress; I hate her hair; I hate her stupid party; her dumb and insane ramblings; I hate her house and, she added spitting the cake ungraciously on the ground, I hate her cakes.

"Well," said a voice in her ear, "that was quite un-ladylike." Marianne snorted. "Well, well, you definitely aren't Alice, are you? She would never be so disgusting." Marianne could not believe what she was hearing. Was this stranger praising her Insaneship? Furthermore this stranger was insulting _her, _Marianne. Marianne was not letting anyone speak to her in such a manner so she turned around, preparing to meet her opponent and slap him. She turned; there was no one there. Her fist fell to her side and she turned all the way round, now standing up, to see where the stranger had gone, but there was no one in close proximity to her. No one, except a figure in a blue dress.

"Why on earth are you spinning Marianne? How curious you look." Alice giggled to herself. "It looks as if you are attempting ballet! I could teach you if you like. I've been told I'm very good!" Marianne sniffed.

"I wasn't attempting ballet, I was actually practicing an old age, heathen ritual where if you spin on the spot for two minutes, then say the name of the person whom you wish to dedicate it to, which was you, and the magical Kackoo-man will visit them."

"Ooh! The Kackoo-man? What does he do?" Alice asked excitedly. Marianne saw this as a chance to really annoy Alice. Alice, the girl who had tormented her all these years with her 'I'm so perfect and everyone loves me' routine.

"Oh, he's really magical!" Marianne replied, her eyes glistening maliciously.

"Will he grant wishes?"Alice questioned, her eyes as round as saucers of milk, as she clapped her hands.

"No." Marianne said. "He's not that nice." Alice stopped.

"What?"

"First the Kackoo-man steals your shadow," Alice looked down, "then you become feverish," She felt her forehead, "then you can hardly breathe, and it feels as though your chest is on fire!" Alice looked down at her chest. "Finally flames erupt from your chest and you turn into ashes!" Alice smiled weakly.

"You're deceiving me!"

"Alice?"

"Mmm?" Marianne grinned maliciously.

"He's behind you, Alice." Alice suddenly screamed in terror and ran off down the garden. Sniggering to herself, Marianne turned around to come face to face with a rabbit. A relatively small, White Rabbit with pink eyes and a waistcoat.

"I thought she'd be pleased to see me." The White Rabbit muttered drawing out his pocket watch. "Oh well, I'm late!" He looked up at her and smiled. Marianne gaped back, eyes protruding from their sockets. Evidently she had not been the one who frightened Alice.

"But...I...bl...uh, erm.. pleh..." She spluttered.

"Your name is Mary Ann, is it not?" He smiled. But before Marianne could tell him otherwise he spoke again. "Then you are the person I've been looking for!" Forcefully grabbing her arm, the White Rabbit gave a tug and pushed her down the rabbit hole at her feet which, she was certain, had not been there just two seconds before.

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_Duhn, Duhn, Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn. music cuts_

_Press the button. Go on, you know you want to! Please! Whoops, I'm begging. Damn._


	2. Doors and Talking Letters

I have nothing to add... just read it. :) :P

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Marianne was now tumbling through the air, or the ground, at a very slow pace. She looked around her to see cupboards and tables scattered around the walls, but no White Rabbit. Marianne sniffed worriedly. Surely she should have hit the bottom of the hole? She folded her arms and waited for her feet to touch the ground. They did not. Her head did. She found herself upside down, her legs in the air, on a purple cushion. Marianne was confused, had she not been falling the other way round? Rolling off the cushion she stood up and looked at her new surroundings. It was a room filled with doors of all shapes and all sizes. Marianne knew where she was immediately. Alice had spoken about it so many times. She was in Wonderland.

"Drat!" Marianne exclaimed. That stupid rabbit, she thought angrily, has mistaken me for some Mary Ann girl and now I'm stuck here in this crazy place. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember everything Alice had told her about Wonderland. The problem was Marianne had never listened. She opened her eyes. In front of her a glass table had appeared and upon it was a note, which read:-

Daer Mray Ann

I am vrey ecxietd taht I hvae funod you at lnog lsat. Pealse

go to my husoe as soon as is psosilbe. I wlil be awitaing

you trehe and all wlil be epxlianed.

The Withe Ribabt.

Marianne read the note twice, confusedly. Could the White Rabbit not spell properly or did everyone write this way in Wonderland? And how was she to get out of the room? Suddenly, words began to appear at the bottom of the letter. Tall, spindly writing spelled out the sentence 'Open the box'. Marianne obeyed and discovered to her amazement a large, ornate, gold key. The only door she could see with a gold lock was an extremely small one situated at the far end of the room.

"I can't fit through that!" Marianne snorted.

"Of course," said the letter, "only the key can fit in the lock."

"I meant the door..." Retorted Marianne, before trailing off as she realized the letter was talking.

"Pardon me for not introducing myself." The letter explained. "I never meant to startle you! I am Your Letter; here to guide and assist you through Wonderland. As I was saying, you can fit through the door but you have to open it first! Now, go on!" Marianne walked towards the door, got on her hands and knees and fitted the key into the lock. To her surprise the door swallowed the key, let out a rather loud burp, then swung open.

"Oh!" Gasped Marianne, who now stood up to face a large garden full of beautiful flowers and tall trees. In the middle of the garden, beginning at her feet, was a winding pathway that led between the two largest trees and vanished into the wood.

"Just follow the path, my dear." The letter told her. Vaguely, as she walked into the woods, she wondered how it could talk when it had no lips or tongue. It was all very strange and confusing.

"Where are we going?" She asked it as she neatly folded and placed it into her pocket.

"The White Rabbit's house, naturally." Came the muffled explanation. Marianne thought there was nothing 'natural' about any of it.

"Well, when we get there, I shall tell the White Rabbit that he has the wrong person entirely and that he should send me home immediately!" She sniffed.

"Are you always incorrect?" The letter asked, Marianne thought, quite rudely.

"Hmm?" Marianne frowned. "Of course I'm not!" She snapped.

"Then," replied the letter, "you are the right person." Confused by the letters illogical reasoning, Marianne was rendered speechless for a few minutes. She did not speak until she collided with a very fat, and very extinct, bird.

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Well, there it is... press the button, it's looking at you...


	3. A Not So Fun Tea Party

This really isn't as good as it could be... but I spent ages on this bit so I'm leaving it like it is now:)

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"I do beg your pardon." Apologized Marianne. "But, I did not see you."

"Granted." Nodded the Dodo.

"I'm sorry?" Marianne asked confusedly. She seemed to be confused a lot since she fell down the hole.

"I know." Replied the Dodo, nodding again.

"I don't understand." Marianne scratched her nose absent-mindedly. The Dodo sighed loudly.

"Well," he began, "we bumped into each other. Then you said, 'I do beg your pardon' to which I replied, 'granted'. Then you said you were sorry, but as you had told me to 'beg your pardon' then I already knew you were sorry, so I told you I knew you were sorry. Then you said..." Marianne held up a hand to stop him from saying anymore. She almost believed that the Dodo could see the stars flying around her head, she was that confused. Marianne felt sorry for Alice, now understanding why Alice had run away from the White Rabbit earlier. Wonderland was confusingly, terrifying.

"Can you direct me to the White Rabbit's house, please?" Marianne wanted to get there and home again as fast as possible. Frowning, the Dodo replied.

"Why, young lady, do you want to go there? The party is in this direction!" He pushed her along another, smaller, pathway into a deeper section of woods. Grabbing her arm, the Dodo towed her along the path and towards a house with a thatched roof shaped like ears.

"Where are we going?" Marianne asked.

"To the party!" The Dodo chortled. Sure enough, as they came closer, Marianne could now see a large dining table set out on the lawn of the house. At one end were two figures. The Dodo pushed Marianne through the gate and towards the table.

"It can't be a very good party if we are the only guests!" Marianne muttered.

"Quite so!" Agreed the letter. "But, if I'm not mistaken, and I very rarely am, this is the house of the March Hare." Marianne had heard about the March Hare and the Hatter and the Dormouse from Alice. She did not want to join in with their party if, what Alice had told her, was true.

"Good day! Dodo!" Greeted the March Hare. "And- who is this?"

"A child!" The Dodo stopped. "Why! I did not ask for your name!" He turned to her.

"It's Marianne." She told him. The March Hare stood up, holding the tea pot above his head, and proclaimed;

"You should sit down! It can not be a party with no guests!"

"Ah! But it can!" The Hatter spoke. "Just not a very good one!"

"Tea?" The March Hare questioned, turning towards the Hatter.

"No thanks, I already have two cups." The Hatter showed them his two, definitely empty, cups. Marianne sat down next to the snoring Dormouse and the Dodo sat on the other side of her. She helped herself to a currant bun as the March Hare proceeded to cut open a cake to reveal a teapot inside. Well, Marianne thought, Alice said they were strange but I never would have believed how so! The Hatter then took the teapot out and poured the tea into the two cups. These were then passed on to Marianne and the Dodo. Marianne sniffed. She was not fond of tea.

"If you have a cold you should use a tissue!" Chided the March Hare. "Or the Kackoo-man will get you!" Marianne snorted.

"The Kackoo-man? The Kackoo-man! Why, I invented him. He's just some nonsense I created to scare Alice! He's not real!" She laughed. The others round the table looked scared. The Hatter dropped his cup.

"Oh, but he is real, Marianne! He's more fearsome then the Jaberwocky!" Replied the Dodo.

"The Jabber- what?" She snorted again.

"The Jaberwocky." Answered the March Hare, who was now standing up and slowly moving away. "You, you-," he raised a quaking finger, "created him! The Kackoo-man! Stay away!" He warned her. "Keep away from us, you scoundrel! You devil! You creator of evil!"

"I most certainly did not create an _actual_ monster. When I spoke of him, he was not a real thing." Marianne nearly laughed at their scared faces; they did look ridiculous. Fancy being scared of a little girl, she thought, and a pretend creature.

"Ah! But saying something aloud puts the idea into the real world, then the idea becomes real itself! It manifests into a true form and, therefore, is no longer an idea!" Marianne knew what the March Hare was saying was complete, illogical, nonsense. So she ignored his comment and instead helped herself to another bun.

"Don't touch our buns!" Said the Hatter.

"I will if I want!" Snapped Marianne, taking another one. The March Hare gasped.

"She's pure evil! She is spawn of the Dark One!" The March Hare stated dramatically. Marianne was becoming increasingly annoyed at their rudeness so she stood up angrily, hands on her hips, and glared at all four of them. The Dormouse woke with a start and screamed, for no apparent reason, the others copied.

"Oh, shut up!" Shouted Marianne. "I'm becoming increasingly fed up with your ridiculous talk about me being 'the creator of evil'. I am not!"

"Well, she would not be likely to admit it!" Argued the Dodo. Alice snorted.

"Why are you here?" Demanded the March Hare.

"She's here to take our souls!" The Hatter answered, his voice shaking.

"I doubt you even have any!" Scowled Marianne.

"Did you hear that? She's taken them already!" Yelled the March Hare. "Call the police. Call the army. Call the Queen. Off with her head!" He screamed, standing on the table and pointing menacingly at Marianne. She just looked at him, bewildered. The March Hare continued to stand there, for what seemed a few minutes, pointing his finger. The Hatter coughed. The March Hare blinked, then jumped down and ran to hide behind the Dodo. "Did you see? Did you see? She cast a spell on me! I was bewitched!"

"You are pathetic!" Marianne snapped. "Do you know how stupid you sound?"

"Stay away!" Said the Dodo, brandishing a stick. Marianne tugged the stick out of his hand, snapped it in two, and threw the bits at them.

"Oh! You are hopeless." She snarled as she walked over to the table (they backed away as she did this) and took the remaining currant buns. Then putting them into her pocket, she pivoted on her heel and strode out of the garden and into the wood.

"Nicely done!" Chortled the letter.

"Well, thanks for your help." She said sharply. "Now, tell me where the White Rabbit's house is."

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Well the buttons below, so if you got this far press it! Or don't... You know, whatever makes you happy. But if you don't I will cry...


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